Being close to the holidays and the time of exchanging gifts, I feel that I have a necessary topic to discuss. Today while riding back from Best Buy with my father, I witnessed him do something I am totally against. Have you ever pulled up to a multiple way stop and waved someone on, only to get what I like to call a send back? Today, my dad received the gift of proceeding across an intersection from the man on the other side who wanted to turn left in front of us and was there before us. Like the occasional nice person my dad is, he gave the man a send back and I was appalled and stated my disgrace for what he just did.
As I could tell he did not understand what I actually meant, I had to elaborate on the situation at hand, explaining that while both wanted to wave the other on, the other man beat him to it. Thus meaning it was my dad’s turn to go and accept the missed gift, not give the worst road gesture around…the send back. Now you may wonder why I think this is terrible and I will gladly explain. A few years back, I pulled up to a four way stop about the same time as three other drivers. Each one, including myself, started waving someone else on. Before we knew it, send backs had caused a three minute delay of traffic, cars lurching forward at the same time which led to more horrid send backs, and an overall disaster of driving that could have been avoided by the simple acceptance that someone beat the other to the gift of moving through the intersection first.
Today though, as we finally passed through the intersection after the kind man accepted my father’s send back and I stated my disgust, my dad felt the need to justify. He explained he performed the send back as he could see a train farther ahead and knew he would have time to wait. Folks, this does not justify this move. When you receive a free pass to go at an intersection, you must take it. If you are the first to wave someone on, and they give you a send back, do what I do and put the car in park and cross your arms. The other will hopefully realize their mistake and proceed through the intersection with a wave back of apology.
I will admit though, sometimes two people can have an ego trip and decide they both want to sit with their arms crossed. If you are a third driver at this intersection, look both ways and proceed at your own risk as one of them could break and quickly accelerate through in aggravation. However, if you happen to be one of the two, it will basically turn into a game of chicken without the movement. Who will break down first and cross? That my friends I will leave up to you and your patience of sitting and waiting for the other to go. I find it easy to not make eye contact in this situation. I make the other realize I have all the time in the world, avoid all the horns blowing around me and stick it out until the other realizes his/her flaw and moves on with their day.
If everyone accepted the original gift of passing, these situations that cause delay in our lives would not happen. Please remember this the next time you pull up to an intersection and realize that it’s okay to get beat to the instance of kindness. Do not perform a send back, but rather acknowledge with a thank you and move on.
“People helping people…it’s powerful stuff.” -Vince Vaughn, Wedding Crashers
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